WEEK 1 - SUMMARY and SALARIES

 

What a start to the 2025–26 RHL season. The league came out flying, the goals came in bunches and apparently so did the indecision. For the first time in RHL history, the league had three opening weekend games end in ties. Yes, ties. Somewhere in the hockey gods’ playbook, there’s probably a note that says, “You’re supposed to win one of them.”

 

Still, you’ve got to hand it to the players, there were some wild swings and last-minute pushes to claw back to even. After one week, we already have a logjam at the top, with Money, Red Army, and Buzz all sitting comfortably at three points and pretending that ties count as progress.

 

The JUICE, who entered the season as one of the heavy favorites, found themselves missing their GM and the league’s reigning Defender of the Year. Fortunately, they had a time traveler between the pipes. Ethan Bell, returning after a casual 10-year hiatus from the league as a spare, stood on his head and made enough saves to keep both games from turning into blowouts. The legend of the “Bell Wall” is apparently back.

 

But the real fireworks didn’t happen on the floor they happened after the games at Shenanigans. Rookie GM Kyle Friesen apparently mistook the postgame beers for a trade deadline frenzy and went full rebuild, shipping out his top two offensive weapons, Emery Neilson and Scott Doram.

 

When asking Neilson what he needed to stay happy, Neilson said, “To win.” Friesen, not missing a beat, replied, “So do I,” and promptly traded him to the Blackjacks. That’s what we call leadership—or chaos—depending on which bench you’re on.

 

All told, it was an unforgettable opening weekend. Three ties, a goalie renaissance, and a GM who might already be one trade away from the witness protection program. The RHL is officially back, folks. Buckle up.